SEATTLE -- Two years before his Seahawks won Super Bowl LX, Mike Macdonald was mired in what he described as the most difficult stretch of his life.
In a recent appearance on "In Depth With Graham Bensinger," the Seahawks' third-year head coach detailed the personal struggles he went through for months after Seattle hired him in January 2024, saying they were such that he had a hard time getting out of bed.
"It was paralyzing," Macdonald said in an interview that took place over the summer and was released Wednesday. "It was hard to move."
Macdonald, 39, stopped short of saying he was dealing with depression.
"It was an extremely difficult time," he said. "I've never felt like that in my life. I was sick. I'd go home, I'd get in bed as soon as I got home. I wouldn't get out of bed until I went to work. I'd be late going to work. In the weekend, I wouldn't get out of bed all weekend. I'd just sit in bed. It was crazy. But is it depression? I don't know. Maybe. I find it hard to self-diagnose depression. There's serious cases of depression that are clinically diagnosed."
Macdonald, previously the Baltimore Ravens' defensive coordinator, became the NFL's youngest head coach when the Seahawks hired him to replace Pete Carroll.
The root of Macdonald's struggles, he said, was the pressure he had put on himself when he became a head coach for the first time. He and his wife, Stephanie, were also reeling from the sudden, unexpected death of their 4-year-old dog.
"It's not good enough to not be the best," Macdonald said. "But that takes time to get there, and it's a process, and if you're not willing to take it incrementally and take some punches along the way because you made decisions quickly -- I just wanted to be right all the time and I didn't know what right was, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to be right.
"That was the weight I was carrying. There's a burden that I felt like I was holding because we weren't where we wanted to be, and I wasn't clear on what to do. That can be a lonely, tough feeling."
Macdonald told Bensinger that his two sisters and his wife were the people he talked to about his struggles. He also began to prioritize his physical health and return to a regular routine.
"If I could get some physical, personal wins, then I could just start stacking those things," he said. "But I'd take two hourlong walks, I'd call some of the players. But I need to get out. So I'd work out, walk, try to try to eat better. I was drinking a lot.
"That was probably the toughest, most difficult stretch of my life, honestly -- that first few months."
It wasn't until some point during the 2024 season, Macdonald said, that he walked up to general manager John Schneider and told him that he was feeling like himself again.
The Seahawks went 10-7 in 2024, missing the playoffs, before going 14-3 during the 2025 regular season and then claiming the franchise's second Super Bowl title.
"I joke with the coaches now, I was not a great leader my first year," Macdonald said. "It sucks to say that, but I just fell short in so many different ways -- an awareness and a trust and a communication style, just wasn't the best version of myself. It's not easy to say that, but it's the truth."
Macdonald was asked whether he's happy now.
"Um, I have joy," he said, pausing twice during his answer. "Am I always happy, um, I think I'm happy."